i dont know what the point of existing is. like, yeah some aspects of life make me happy. but happiness is such a short term thing when you think about it. you live the moment and then the moment fades away, leaving nothing but a memory.
whats the damn point of it?
most of the time i dont feel happy or sad, angry or calm; most of the time i am just numb. everything seems so very meaningless.
when i look into my future i see only pressure, the weight that will be on on my shoulders that is invisable but yet its existence so strong it is suffocating. funny, and almost ridiculous, to say i feel pressurised by the pressure in my future.
i am in a very very dark place. the darkness is drowning me in but i am letting it. maybe the weight will be lifted when everything goes silent.